I think it was the second instructional day this past August of 2008. My team, The Reading Team, was scheduled to meet with our new assistant principal. I had heard that she could be quite a firestorm. I didn't put much weight into it as I, along with most of my colleagues, was just trying to cope with the fact that there were so many changes already in our school with having a new Principal. We adored our former leader. As we sat in an open classroom area adorned with multiple chart papers displaying the Reading Specialists responsibilities and our mandated schedules, I couldn't help but shake my head left to right, showing my utmost disagreement with it all. Even when my new Asst. Principal appeared before of us to start the meeting, I couldn't help but shake my head and take deep breaths. I wasn't trying to be be disrespectful, I was just naturally reacting to what I was up against. But, that's not what my new boss thought. So, in a firestorm fashion, she also couldn't help to hold back her expressions, and she hammered into me. Yup, I was yelled at as she told me all the reasons she didn't like me already and that I had no right to challenge her new way of doing things at our school. In front of 5 of my closest colleagues and with the neighboring 1st and 2nd grade teachers listening in, I sat there, listened to every humiliating loud word she directed straight at me and patiently allowed her to complete every single thought she wanted to convey to me. Although, I sat there quietly, as she got everything about me wrong, I was concocting just how I was going to let her know how I really felt about her plan and NOT compromise my philosophical approach in how I serve the kids and the teachers in my special literacy role. I waited, and all the while, never questioning myself on whether I should tell her how I disagreed with her.
Just about the time my colleagues could clearly not sink any further in their chairs because they were so embarrassed for me, I politely told her that as soon as she was done, I would respond to her. When that time came, I grabbed my heart out of my chest, placed it on the kidney bean table facing the chart paper and explained to her all the reasons why I couldn't work with her plan. Of all my thoughts, what I do remember telling her is that I didn't know how to teach on an assembly line and if I had to, then I was not qualified for the role. Period. meeting was over. I texted Sammy and told him that the only thing in this world that is allowed to make my world difficult, is Isabela's heart condition. Period. I was about to resign on that second day of school. However, a couple of hours later, my Asst. Principal returned, with a full, sincere apology in hand. Turns out, after talking to another Asst. Principal who has professional history with me, she learned that she did have me wrong, dead wrong. AND that mandated schedule, never happened. She gave me the freedom I needed.
So, why that story six months later? Over the course of the year, she and I have developed quite a strong professional relationship. However, she has had a lot of trouble gaining the respect from many teachers because, she really can come on very strongly and our teachers are not used to it. She's definitely a do-er. I think people get really intimidated by her assertiveness. Me? I have fallen head over heels over her. It didn't really strike me until today, just how much. Although she has showed me in numerous ways how much she respects me as an educator by asking me to pilot a professional book study, confides with me on her own struggles as one of our leaders and recently asked me to mentor a new Reading Teacher, it's what she did today that blew me away.
Our school has this really nifty idea of passing around recognition among the staff. In an intimate manner, there is a candy filled gift bag floating around that contains a spiral notebook in which very special notes are written in. On that small hand held notebook, one writes a note to someone else they admire and respect as an educator and dump it in the bag with the candy and then walks over to hand over to that person. The recipient reads it, gushes and then has to think of another person he/she admires and writes a note to then hand over with the candy. So, this morning, I did not get it, but my "mentee" received it. She got it from our Asst. Principal, yes , the firestorm one. She wrote my new colleague how impressed she was with the hour she spent formally observing her yesterday and provided a few reasons why she would make a phenomenal teacher, etc. Well, within that note, she squeezed in an opportunity to praise me by saying "I am so glad you are working with Brenda as she is knowledgeable, supportive and a great listener". On top of that, gave her free clearance to get any approvals she needed, from me, not her! Yup, that same person who once took one big hit at me , who is quite a force, can over and over tell someone, tell Me, that she was wrong. Of course, there is no way anyone reading this can actually feel the magnitude of this unless you met this person. Trust me, it's huge. It's like one of those cheesy movies you can watch in which the main character learns that even a great risk, she can do the right thing for herself and actually come out winning by having everyone else follow her lead. However, I always walk out of the theater thinking "yeah right". But not today.
My Asst. Principal has been added to that list of people in my life who have helped shape my view on the potential of people. What a person she is. She is so smart, passionate, assertive and from what I have learned first-hand, honest with herself by accepting and embracing failure. I hope others get to see in her what I see.
So, my advice to my girls...be free to believe in yourself.
Picture taken with a VERy special class of mine in 2004 when working in my first elementary school, pregnant with Isabela.
No comments:
Post a Comment