Two Friends, One Past

Do you personally know of anyone who evokes within you this incredible desire to drop to your knees and praise him or her? Well, I do. Her name is Michelle Monique Dupre Warner. I don't think we have much more in common other than her daughter has a very similar heart disease as Isabela's. She was born 4 days after Isabela was and taken emergently to Texas Childrens Hospital after a few days after birth. Michelle and her husband did not know about her complex heart disease until she was in distress at 4 days old. While I was at the hospital, I hardly made any friends as I hardly ever left Isabela's side, but this is one mother I made a point to interact with. As of today, I don't think we have much in common. But, what I do know is that every time I am around her, my awe for her intensifies and all the while, she has me cracking up. She can tell you the scariest, deathly story about this heart disease world, but somehow brings out any little comical piece to it she can. Why do I praise her? She has had a really rough time with Geena's care in the past almost 5 years. She lost her house due to Hurricane Rita. Her husband proved incapable to be the father their special-needs child needed him to be, so she left him. Furthermore, the greater Houston area seemed to be difficult on Geena's weak lungs, so she relocated herself and two daughters to Austin with no home, no job, no money. AND every time Geena has to be hospitalized, Michelle does the most perfect job in advocating for her daughter, sleeping by her side and being so humble and appreciative to every person on staff. Those are just some reasons why I adore her. Seriously, every time I see her or her name is mentioned, you can easily see tears running down my face, in an instant.



( Michelle pictured above when Isabela was 5 mos. old.)

Before I drove to the hospital to sit with her while she waited for Geena's third open heart surgery to begin, I had to meet Sammy to purchase a new washer/dryer as our dryer broke this week. As I was driving, I broke down crying profusely because I was so sad for Michelle today. I knew she was terrified, especially because Geena has recently had complications and a long hospital stay. I was driving and wondering how she must be feeling sitting in the holding room holding on tightly to Geena knowing that the outcome could be a fatal one. Then it hit me...I knew exactly what she was feeling! I proceeded to then cry more. Then, at the hospital, at the sight of me, Michelle began crying. There was soooo much crying. We talked about the good and the bad that comes with the girls' lives, silently praying for more of those times, even the bad ones.

I stayed long enough to learn of the surgery's result and shortly after Michelle was able to see Geena. As Michelle returned from seeing Geena, post-surgery, She broke down and cried endlessly. She was ok, it was just that the old memories rolled back to meet her in that ICU room. As she was whispering in my ear as I held her, my memories rolled out, too. I got a mix of them. Once I got home, I couldn't take it anymore. I sat on my computer and pulled out our cyber album to revisit the past. Again, more crying. I think it was more like self-therapy...so here it is...I thought I would showcase my most treasured memories...the very good and the very bad.

We were given 7 minutes to hold Isabela before sending her to surgery. It was my first time and Sammy's. It was the toughest thing to share in my whole life. I wanted to, but then I didn't. Pops held Isabela on the last 3 minutes we had before her first open heart surgery. Isabela was 19 hours old. I will never forget my father-in-law's face at this very moment. Isabela cried endlessly. She couldn't breathe well.

Valerie surprised me one Saturday morning with Isabela dressed up in this make-shift dress. It was the first outfit on Isabela as she was not allowed to have clothes on with all the cords, etc. Valerie bought this onesie at Costco, cut the legs off and created fringes. I still have this special dress. Isabela was about 5 mos. old.

This is what I did for the first 4 months of Isabela's life. Every day craving to hold her.
The first time I held Isabela skin-to-skin, she was 6 weeks old. I had to get a doctor's order to do this. Always a doctor's order.

Isabela was about 5 mos. old here. We were waiting for her her second heart surgery. We played a lot on the floor like this. I would open the two doors, sit close to them and listen to all the "office gossip" between nurses, doctors and therapists. Yeah, I was nosy!

Yet another surprise, Valerie surprised me with her special pumpkin trifle in honor of my 29th birthday. She knew I love pumpkin. I fell so in love with this dessert, that I make it every Thanksgiving Day now. Crystal adores it. The pic was taken just outside of Isabela's ICU room.
On Christmas Eve, Heather (Bela's cardiologist), stopped by to grant me one special wish. She let me hold Isabela. It took 3 people to put her in my arms. At that point (4 mos. old), Isabela was very very sick. She needed a breathing tube, along with what we know as "Viagara" to keep her alive. What a gift...for Christmas. Also, it snowed on this day in Houston. I will never forget how much I needed to see that snow fall.

That Christmas Day, Crystal told me all she wanted was to hold Isabela. Again, it took 3 people.
Crystal was so sad all those months we were at the hospital. It was her freshman year in high school. She had no friends and felt as if she didn't fit in. But, she refused to complain to us. She took Isabela a very special Virgin Mary ornament on this day.

Michelle Fleming was Isabela's sonographer. Not technically, but she made it a point to always be the one to do her ultrasounds when the orders came in. I will never forget how she would see the worry in my face and tell me the results, secretly. Doctors weren't able to come around for hours to give me news, so she gave me the gift of not having to wait. You wouldn't think it was huge, but for me, it was. Even today, Michelle still pulls up every ECHO Isabela has and takes a look.
Isabela was no top student when it came to Anna's therapy. She would drink maybe 1-3 cc's of milk. But, Anna showed no disappointment. She had few days overall to work with Isabela since she was so sick most of the time. But, Anna never failed to visit us. I don't think a day went by in which she didn't stop by. She didn't need a doctor's order to sit with me and just be my friend.

Jane. She heard about Isabela through her coworkers at Sam's old job. She made it a point to meet me and take me lunch. After that first lunch date, she made it a point to go every single Friday until we went home. She didn't have to, but I am so glad she did. Now, she is one of my most treasured friends and our daughters are such wonderful friends.

Crystal sleeping on the floor of our Recovery Room. Enough said.



I had to express breast milk every 2-3 hours for 11 months. SAmmy was the one who handled the labeling, the storage and the feeding bags. I got to donate 1,000 oz to the Milk Bank in Austin, Texas. Sammy was told that I was the biggest donor they had ever had. I will never forget how proud he was of me...and honoring me with the name "Elsie" (the cow)! Everyone should know, I couldn't have done it without him. And Isabela could not have survived without the breast milk. We later found out that breast milk was the only substance her stomach could digest.At about 5 mos. old, this was Isabela's first Reading lesson. I so loved this day. I was also feeling so lonely.

Our first family photo taken in the ICU. We have taken several professional portraits, but this one will always be my favorite.
Whether I slept in the waiting room or at home, Monday- Friday, I always made it a point to be at Isabela's side before she opened her eyes from a night's rest. But, on Saturday and Sunday, Isabela's nurse, Valerie, took on that job. We got to sleep in, pick up bagels or pastries for the nurses and arrive by 9-10ish. What a gift...

Here' s Christina. She took care of Isabela between Mondays- Fridays. I remember always making sure that Isabela's room was tidy, clean and presentable the night before I knew Christina would be there. You see, Christina is a clean freak. I so loved that about her. She ran a tight ship. She also showed me how I could handle certain aspects of Isabela's care that I didn't think I could handle, like cleaning her g-tube site. She even taught me how to properly bathe her. Cleanliness was huge with her. But, I think what I love most about her is that she was always so upfront with everything. Even today. Her truths about me have been so powerful for me.

I was so glad that Christina and Heather got to take Isabela out of the ICU. I still remember that RSV shot Christina had to to give Isabela before leaving. She didn't have the guts to it ..to Isabela, so she asked Alicia, to do it. I knew then, more than ever, that Isabela had stolen her heart. You see, Christina had a reputation for being hard as steel (you knew that, right Christina? :-))

In the recovery room. I hardly slept. I had no monitors, no ICU nurses. Notice, Isabela is in her car seat. She was safer that way. She soon ended up in my bed. We were told to not let her cry more than 5 minutes at a time.
I present to you : The Dream Team. Her gastro Dr. who personally visited us each day, at my request and then Heather....my life-line in this world. Yes, Isabela is her favorite, most prized patient. She has never told me that, but many, many other doctors she works with have :-) Plus, she makes it a point to be at every birthday of Isabela's, my birthdays and anything else that we want her to be present for. She's not just her doctor, but an incredible friend.

Isbela's bedroom. During my pregnancy, I was afraid she would never get to see it. There were days I wouldn't step in there. I was too afraid of so much that would never happen in there.

But, Finally HOME.

I am sleeping with my phone under my pillow tonight. I will be sitting with Michelle at the hospital tomorrow and the next days. I am sure more memories will continue to be celebrated. I so love this life of mine.