August 28th

On August 28, 2010, I was thinking about 3 little boys and one little girl, celebrating their birthdays, with and without them. Unbeknownst to them, I was also very sad. This one, this year, though, hit me the hardest. What most don't know, because I'm not willing to spoil the moment on any August 28th, I had a best friend murdered, 12 years ago on this very day. The most heart-wrenching detail is that he was killed while he was protecting his sisters. Something he was really good at with me.

Never has anyone loved me and accepted me for everything that I am, everything that I am not, without an objection, while having so little in common, except that we share the same birthday on December 26th. Sure, many would have accused him of being a door mat with me, like picking up Burger King for me by walking 7 miles roundtrip, running to my door when learning of a drunken rage of my stepfather's and when needing him to accompany me in my used LeBaron as I taught myself to drive on the real, mean streets of East Houston. I knew he wasn't such a door mat and I never let him feel Like one. You ever have that friend you know you can count on, the good and the bad, and i don't mean in life, but in you? I did. That was truly amazing. He always made fun of me, telling me I was "odd", nothing like the rest of "us" in the neighborhood...easily mistaken for a "gringa" right in the hood. I seemed to want more than I had, more than was expected. Just like out of a movie featuring the poor troubled kids in the under-performing high school, we triumphed with love, even if it sometimes meant with a gun shot. But, anytime anyone else tried to agree with his (right-on) perspective on me he would ask them (actually, tell them) to accept me and love me- because I was worth loving.

Funny fact, once Sam met him, we actually fought over his time. I will never forget wondering on some occasions whether Ralph still loved me more than he did Sam. Stupid me, of course he loved me more.

So, this August 28th, after wishing happiness to my little special boys and girl, I wished for Ralph... Being grateful for not ever having to apologize for being me.

By Amy Stroup

"hold onto hope, love

i searched high and low for you
for you

each day gets closer
so hold on stronger to me
and you

someday soon,
i'll find you
someday soon,
i'll know you
someday, ooooh oh"






Colorado 2010

Embracing my true friends here on Earth, too.

-- Posted from my iPhone