Coping

Today is Day 3 with Crystal in
Washington DC. Three more to go. I keep telling myself that I should see this as a training session for what is in store for me in August. This is such an ugly, monstrous feeling. Everywhere I look, I see a piece of her...her car parked out in the front, her newly retired cell phone located so inconveniently on the staircase, her Yoplait Whipped yogurts in the fridge, her lounge clothes wrongly placed in my room and her scent is lingering all around me. I am even wishing that she would have left more stuff laying around in the most "in the way" places. Embarrassingly enough, I have looked for consolation in my "pan dulce" (sweet bread). That needs to stop, soon!

I have been trying to counsel myself. I have been reminding myself to toughen up, to turn around this negative feeling into something more constructive. I am posting something I had to revert to. With Daniela's permission, I am sharing a poem she gave me for my Birthday/Christmas this past year. This so very special gift was placed on her Christmas tree branches for weeks before she handed it to me on Christmas Eve. I wondered for weeks what would be found in a square-shaped envelope. As I finally got to open it and read the card, I could hear Daniela's tears flowing down her cheeks. She simply wanted to tell me what she thought of me. It's so nice to hear what your friends think of you, especially when you forget what you know about yourself. This is one gift that certainly keeps on giving....like it is in my heart today.

The Phoenix

by Lucille Van Onselen-Zunckel

Tried to make her stumble

Tried to make her crumble

Tried so hard to break her

And see her humbled

This time your luck has run out

She's ready to rumble

And make you take

a tumble

Tried so hard to play your tricks

Such a pity you didn't know

Much about the Phoenix

and how much she is able to fix

No matter how hard you tried

To destroy her again & again

She rose.

A rare bird indeed

So unique, a miracle in fact

She managed to escape from your trap

Rising slowly from the ashes

Spreading her wings

A glorious sight

To behold

Thought she would forever be at your mercy

Eventually; she is set free, soaring

Way up high, headed for the

Freedom of the sky

Thank you Dani for resonating this through every look you bestow upon me or at the first sound of my voice over the telephone....you have a way of making me feel incredible :-)))))