As the fierce Hurricane Ike makes landfall on our coast and runs ramped through our city, Isabela and I will be taking shelter in a very unexpected place, one of the most dearest places in my heart. The same place that has always seemed to evoke feelings on many different levels and in varied magnitudes. As Isabela sits on her bed on the 15 th floor of Texas Childrens Hospital, I am visited by those same emotions that have always taken hold of me when seeing Isabela battling an illness or surgery with cables and an IV attached in a mangled way. This time, though, those feelings are accompanied with fortitude. Somehow, from somewhere, I have to find it in me to endure this storm on my own with ISabela. I have never really gone through something like this on my own, much less with my daughter who is ill, requiring an IV and oxygen. (Our 1983 Hurricane Alicia still leaves me with horrible nightmares.) I know Sammy wishes he could be with us, but duty calls as our city needs the media to educate them of the hurricane's track. But, I don't like it...at all!
Since Wednesday, I was torn for almost 24 hours on where I was taking Isabela in an effort to escape the storm. Her Croup seemed to progressively worsen. We had a terrible Wednesday night so I decided to get a second opinion from her pediatrician who knows Bela so very well. From the second she saw her, she felt really uncomfortable with her disposition. She had never seen Isabela so surrendered to an illness. Isabela has always weathered illnesses without a whimper. After tests, she couldn't pin point the diagnosis, so she sent us here, to TCH. Before we left, I told her that I had every intention on walking in to the ER and saying my usual spiel about Isabela to get us in front of the long ER wait line. She agreed and gave me more ammunition to tell them. However, by the time we got there, Isabela's oxygen sats had fallen to 67 percent. A nurse who was simply passing by spotted her and within one minute, she had a crew of 10 people made up of doctors, med student, nurses, medical assistant and child life specialist. They were ALL OVER her! Surprisingly I wasn't scared by all the drama that resembled something you would see in a scene from the tv show "ER". I knew Isabela was in trouble, just relieved that I knew the hospital would fix it. However, thinking back, I didn't realize until later, once the chaos had subsided that this production was Isabela's first time as a "big girl" rather than a chronically ill baby. She is now at an age in which she synthesizes her environments quite carefully. As she was surrounded by everyone who was quickly addressing her in every necessary way, she sat there, watched them and cooperated with their requests as she expressed her state of health through very course coughs. Once it was all over, she cried endlessly with screams and agonizing pain. It was an awful day yesterday. It didn't help that it was coupled with the fact that Isabela needed to go to the restroom every two hours throughout the night, whick required pulling IV, disconnecting oxygen and pulling myself together with an already,set-in deprivation of sleep.
Today, Isabela is a different child! Woohoo! Drugs, water, oxygen, rest and great medical care. Plus, all of her friends visiting has really impacted her adapting to this hospital suite. She kind of has some connections here, so I think it's safe to say that doctors around here are keeping a closer look on her. Daniela and Anna made sure that our friends here were well aware that we are here. Plus, I think more so, my sweet ladies wanted me to have the moral support, ease my fear of loneliness. Well, it has worked, Tim, Robyn and Susanne have come by to offer conversations, snacks, food and other little conveniences I have needed like a camera cable and even just a pillow below my back that I didn't know I needed as I held Isabela in a very uncomfortable position on her twin size bed. Daniela as usual rearranges her life, gives me food, shower and any time I need of hers and Anna miserable from Shreveport because she can not physically be here for me, although she really is in other big ways. Then there are all the other text messages and phone calls that brought an incredible comfort to my heart. Each little message has done wonders for me.
Ok, scary! Emergency Security just came by to put a wrist band on me that identifies me as a parent...you know, just in case the hospital breaks out in a state of utter disorder! Oh, another new development, thankfully, they have moved Isabela and me from our room #1531 to #1534 because our view was overlooking the South! whew! I was very concerned about that! Now, we are facing more North...from the 15 th floor with windows touching the ceiling!
Now, as I face the storm with ISabela, I take comfort in knowing that my actual worst fears are out of the way. Her heart function is on her normal baseline, the pesky bacterial infection is losing its battle in her body and I have reminded myself that I really am not alone. As usual, I will rely on my Beautiful God to take care of me so that I can do what I need to do to protect my baby. I have just been informed in the last 5 minutes that Isabela will need to be moved to the hallway, away from windows, because she is on oxygen. With noise around us, bright lights and fear set in place, that means less sleep for us. Please help us pray that we can endure this all while healing Isabela and that I can handle seeing the fear in my baby's eyes when the wind and rain come through with force.
Note to self: When this is over, I need a long good nap in my own bed AFTER a nice couple of glasses of wine.... another beautiful thing God has provided for my life...wine...
These are just a few emotions coming from Room #1534...
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